A Blog About Cooking Shows From A Guy Who Can't Cook

Yes, that's a Masked Singer picture for a blog post about Hell's Kitchen. If the show isn't going to put any effort into itself, then I see no reason to respect it in any way. Why am I writing about this? I could be writing about anything else in the world. I could be talking about shows on The Food Network. I could be talking about a really great movie that I just saw. I could also be talking about what is in store for us this year at The Stamford Downtown Parade Spectacular.  But no, because I don’t know how to write about two of these things in the way that I would authentically want to, and since we don’t have all the information for this year’s parade yet, here I am writing about another episode of Hell’s Kitchen Season 25. After a recap of the previous episode that only lasted 1 minute and 32 seconds, but really felt like it lasted 132 minutes, it was time to actually start this episode. Like always, the episode started where the previous one left off, with The Blue T...

Hello everybody! Do you want to hear about the latest episode of Hell’s Kitchen? I imagine that the answer is probably not, but because I would like to write something, I’m going to imagine that you all said yes!  I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to write about this show again so soon, but we don’t have all the information about this year’s Stamford Downtown Parade Spectacular, and I already shared with you everything I could about Season 15 of The Masked Singer, so I guess my hands are tied.  The episode picked up from the previous episode. I will give a million points to anyone who remembers how the previous episode ended. Anyway, The Blue Team was celebrating having just won the previous Dinner Service. And I mean like REALLY celebrating. They literally all started doing push-ups to celebrate their victory. You know, maybe that’s what everybody should do after they have any sort of victory. I know that it certainly would have improved Star Wars if they started doing victor...

Hello everybody! You ready to hear more about Hell’s Kitchen? Well too bad! Yeah, the second episode of Hell’s Kitchen had even less to talk about than the first episode.  So, what I have decided to do is give them the appropriate amount of respect. What I mean is that they gave me essentially nothing to talk about, so in this blog post, I’m barely going to even talk about the episode. I’m going to go on so many tangents, and make so many references that none of you will understand, because that’s exactly what the show deserves at this point. So, last week, the show ended on a cliffhanger that made you think that OH NO! Chef Ramsay is going to eliminate two chefs before the competition even begins! I mean, the only way you could ever think he would eliminate anyone this early is if you have never seen the show before.  Once they picked up from where they left off, it could not have been more anticlimactic. All Chef Ramsay did was give them the menus to study early. It wasn’t e...

Hello everybody! Would you like me to talk about the new season of Hell’s Kitchen?  Of course you would! Why is that even a question?  For those of you who don’t know, a new season just premiered. But this isn’t just any season. Oh no, it’s the 25th season, which apparently is one of the biggest deals for any show out there, even a yelling show that is disguised as a cooking competition. Seriously, I can think of two other shows that made their 25th seasons a big deal, because they are shows that nobody cares about. America’s Funniest Home Videos and The Jerry Springer Show. Yes, they actually made a big deal out of Jerry Springer’s 25th season, even going so far as to literally show flashbacks and highlights of older episodes, which funny enough, is also what happened in the Season Premiere of Hell’s Kitchen. To honor this truly historic occasion, they chose to have the gimmick of the season coincide with it. What I mean is that for this season, all the contestants are 25 yea...