Kitchen Nightmares Season 1, Episode 1
Hello everybody!
A few days ago, I asked on Instagram if I should start doing write-ups of episodes of Kitchen Nightmares. Enough of my friends told me that I should, so here we are!
I am going to start from the beginning, because you know how they say the first episode of a show lets you know what you’re in for? Well, the first episode of Kitchen Nightmares does exactly that in the most unhinged way imaginable.
Before I get into it though, there is something I should warn you all about. The way that I am watching these episodes is in an uncensored format. So, there are some instances where I will be able to censor myself, but there are also going to be some instances where writing uncensored is going to be unavoidable for me. So, that’s just a warning so that none of you have the same reaction that Roginald did when Peter Griffin said a bad word. Also, I am going to give a million points to anyone who actually understands that reference.
So, with all that out of the way, let’s get started!
The very first episode of the series brought Chef Ramsay to Babylon, New York in Long Island, to try to rescue a failing Italian restaurant called Peter’s. Now, with a name like that, you would expect that it was owned by someone named Peter, right? Well, it wasn’t. It was actually owned by a woman named Tina Pellegrino, and the restaurant was named after her brother Peter, who was also the host at the restaurant.
In a bunch of interview segments, everyone at the restaurant said that Peter was the main problem at the restaurant.
The Head Chef Robert said that the tools in the kitchen needed to be sharpened, they had a broiler that wasn’t working, and Tina said that there were three ovens down at the time.
Here’s another thing that I feel is worth mentioning right now. Not only is the restaurant not making much money, whenever it does, Peter spends that money on himself.
If you’re wondering what I mean by that, allow me to explain. He is always wearing these expensive and fancy looking suits, wears expensive jewelry, has a spray tan, has teeth that are bleached white and he admitted cost $1,000 a visit, and he also drives a very noticeable Mercedes.
Yeah, that’s how much this guy is addicted to wasting money on things he doesn’t need. And somehow, that’s not even the craziest thing about him, or even this episode.
Chef Ramsay arrived in Babylon at the train station, where Peter said that he would pick him up, and he did show up to take him to the restaurant… One hour after Chef Ramsay arrived. Yeah, I have no idea what could have taken him so long, considering the episode goes out of its way to show us that he does nothing at the restaurant.
Fun fact: When Peter finally arrived in his fancy Mercedes, Chef Ramsay’s reaction to seeing the car was “This can’t be him. What the ________ is this?” Yeah, you all know what word he said here. Also, it’s nice to see that he isn’t going to put up with anything from Peter when he literally hasn’t even met him yet, and is judging him on the fact that he kept him waiting for over an hour and is driving an exorbitantly expensive car.
When Chef Ramsay got to the restaurant, Peter introduced him to his family, including his dad Yogi, who said in an interview “When I first met him, you know, I didn’t know how to take him. But with his hair like that, I figure he’s one of these crazy foreigners.” Yeah, I don’t think you should be allowed to say that under any circumstances.
Peter then introduced his two best friends Jerry and Jerry. Yes, they were both named Jerry. I wonder if he has a brother named Daryl and another brother named Daryl. Again, a million points to anyone who understands that reference.
Chef Ramsay then ordered some food from the menu, and he chose the Crab Cakes and the Lobster Ravioli.
Chef Ramsay immediately commented that the Salad that came with the Crab Cakes looked terrible, so he asked the waiter if it was fresh, and then also pointed out that it was clearly rotten.
When he finally started eating the Crab Cake, he said that it was stone cold in the middle, and it did not have fresh Crab Meat.
Also, when the staff were talking in the kitchen about how Chef Ramsay felt about the food, they revealed that the Lobster Ravioli was purchased from Restaurant Depot.
When Chef Ramsay actually got the Lobster Ravioli, he immediately noticed that there was an absurd amount of Parsley on it, and the filling looked disgusting.
This all resulted in a massive argument among the staff that Chef Ramsay could hear from the dining room. And I mean a massive argument. There was the sound of glass breaking, and Peter told Chef Ramsay that he had to defuse a fight in the kitchen.
The next day, Chef Ramsay investigated the kitchen. What he found included a rock hard Baguette in the refrigerator, rotten Produce, and leaking from the ceiling.
Two hours after the investigation, Peter arrived, and apologized to Chef Ramsay, saying, and I quote, “To make something happen, I had to pick something up.” What does this even mean? Is he trying to hide what he was really doing? Was he unable to come up with a lie about why he was late, and just said the first words that came to him? It gets even weirder, as he then told Chef Ramsay that “I had to pick up something that came inadvertently to the wrong place.” Okay, but what was this thing that he was talking about? And what was the wrong place? Was it not supposed to come to his place? Was it supposed to come to his place, but it didn’t? I feel like a lot of this will make sense later on in the blog post, but you’ll just have to wait and see.
Chef Ramsay then asked Peter when was the last time he went into his walk-in fridge, to which he said that he had a hot flash the previous week, and he walked into the walk-in for a second. Yeah, that’s how I learned that men can also get hot flashes. As in, just yesterday was when I first learned.
Chef Ramsay then showed Peter some of the disgusting foods in the walk-in, including “Onions growing on top of onions,” and when Chef Ramsay asked Peter what a VERY old food was, his exact response was “I don’t know, you have to ask the chef,” in case you were wondering just how seriously he took the restaurant.
Chef Ramsay then did his usual thing of forcing the people who work there to smell how disgusting the food was, to which Peter declined, saying that he “just got up.” Okay, but what about picking up something that inadvertently came to the wrong place? Did you do that shortly before you got to the restaurant, or are you just lying about everything? Also, how is that a normal response? Those two things have nothing to do with each other. Having just gotten up should not be a factor in whether or not you willingly smell something that you are forced to smell. Yeah, that’s a sentence you will never see again in your life.
He then showed Peter a very rotten Pepper, and asked him if they would really serve that, to which Peter said that he wouldn’t, but then he also asked Chef Ramsay if that falls under the chef’s job, and wow I am so impressed with how much this guy is trying to throw people under the bus. I mean, it would be one thing if he told Chef Ramsay to ask the chef what a very old food was, but then saying that whether or not they serve rotten food falls under the chef’s job, I mean, this guy is just trying to do as little as possible and be blamed for absolutely nothing.
Peter then complained to Chef Ramsay about being blamed for everything, like the fires in Chicago, Hurricane Katrina, and 9/11, which I’m going to just go ahead and assume that you should not be allowed to say that in any circumstances.
A little later, Chef Ramsay observed a Dinner Service at the restaurant, and that was when he learned that basically none of the equipment worked, and when Chef Ramsay asked when was the last time a new piece of equipment was bought in the kitchen, Head Chef Robert said that they never put a nickel into the place.
Also at this time, Chef Ramsay learned that Peter was comping his doctor’s whole meal, simply for the fact that he was his doctor who takes care of him, which is certainly a choice when you are losing money.
Then, we come to one of the most memorable parts of the entire episode: A debt collector arrives to the restaurant for Peter. Now, I am just going to say this right now, I have never had a job where we got visits from a debt collector, nor have I ever seen a debt collector, but I feel that a real debt collector would not be acting the way this guy did, and a conversation with a debt collector would not be playing out the way that his conversation with Peter played out.
So, here’s what happened. The debt collector asked Peter if he had a minute, to which Peter said that he didn’t, to which the debt collector responded by saying “Well as soon as you got a minute, telephone tough guy.” Yeah, that is not a normal interaction whatsoever. From there, there was numerous instances of them saying a word that rhymes with “Duck” that they could do to themselves, and the debt collector, whose name is apparently John, also said to Peter “Touch me, tough guy,” and this is after it has spilled out of the kitchen and the dining room, and into the street. Yeah, so they are literally threatening to fight each other. And this is on the street in Babylon, Long Island. And this literally made it to air on Fox in 2007. I am genuinely amazed that they either didn’t care, or they somehow didn’t pick up on what’s clearly happening here.
John The Debt Collector then told Peter “Our friendship is ____________ over,” to which Peter responded “You ain’t my friend, you’re a scumbag,” to which John then told Peter that if he talked to him like that again, he would get “__________ing hurt.” Yeah, wasn’t 2007 a great time for shows?
John then told Restaurant Owner Tina that he had spoken to other people that Peter was in debt with, that called him up to see if there was anything he could do, and he just wanted to talk to Peter, and I can’t help but picture that scene from Family Guy where Peter is telling Meg “I just want to talk to him.” A million points to anyone who knows what scene I am talking about.
The next day, Chef Ramsay forced Peter and his dad to work in the kitchen. To say that it didn’t go well is an understatement. Peter found out at this time how much of a problem it really was that their burner didn’t work, and then, for whatever reason, he thought it would be a good idea to walk out of the kitchen and into the dining room to ask his mom to make him an Espresso. Yes, this guy actually saw nothing wrong with ignoring what Chef Ramsay told him to do, and prioritizing himself over the customers. It’s fascinating that people like this exist in the world.
Things did not got much better for Peter during service, as he could not find any of the food that needed to be cooked, and he decided to blame the staff for not setting him up properly. Some of the highlights here include the fact that he couldn’t find any Lemons, even though the box was right there in the kitchen, and the fact that he said that he needed Chicken, which was literally on a plate right in front of him.
One of the servers then came in to say that a table had not gotten their Appetizers, so Peter thought the solution there would be to tell the diners that he would buy them Dessert, and that they didn’t need Appetizers. Because that’s how you run a restaurant.
One hour later, no customers had been served yet, so naturally, Peter thought this would be a good time to ask for someone to get him a glass of Orange Juice. I mean, as we all know, when you are running a restaurant that is struggling and you have failed to serve anybody, you should always prioritize your desires for Orange Juice over the people that will ensure that you are making money and have a house. That’s just basic science. :)
Despite what a train wreck this all was, and how useless Peter was, Chef Ramsay decided to push forward with his plans to fix the restaurant. These included giving them new equipment, revamping the menu, and really emphasizing that this was a family restaurant.
A little later, it was 30 minutes before the relaunch was scheduled to start, and while Chef Ramsay was giving the staff a pep talk, another debt collector arrived.
The debt collector said that he was there for Peter, to which Chef Ramsay told him that they were “really busy right now,” and that he was “interfering.” The debt collector did not take this comment well, telling Chef Ramsay that he had to wait two minutes, because he had to talk, to which Chef Ramsay responded by saying “Get out of the way,” to which the debt collector responded by saying “You get out of the way.” Yeah, so Chef Ramsay kept telling him to go away because restaurant, and the debt collector refused to leave because Peter.
Then things escalated faster than you can ever imagine. Peter then stepped in, and what started as an argument then led to Peter taking his fancy suit off and showing off the t-shirt he had on underneath, Chef Ramsay saying “Relax” a bunch of times in a row, Peter saying to the debt collector “Who the ______ are you” more than once, and then things escalated into a literal actual Jerry Springer style fight. No, I’m not even joking. Peter started attacking the debt collector, and the other staff members at the restaurant tried holding him back before things got even worse, much like how Security would do on The Jerry Springer Show.
To make things even crazier, Peter’s dad Yogi was literally knocked over on the sidewalk during this confrontation. I mean, he was fine, but that happened, and he still continued trying to attack the debt collector.
He then managed to “chase” the debt collector away, while also calling him a “fake tough guy,” telling him he would put him in the hospital, calling him a “fake _________ gangster,” and then calling him a name that I do not feel comfortable even writing, because I just know that even seeing me write these words will horrify all of you reading. If you want a good laugh, just read those quotes in my voice. All that his father could say in response to all this was “Peter, you’re embarrassing me.” First of all, that is the biggest understatement of all time. Second of all, he clearly wasn’t embarrassed enough to make sure that clip never saw the light of day, or sued Gordon Ramsay and the Kitchen Nightmares team for including this moment in the episode, which has happened before.
After the debt collector had been sent away, Peter said that he was sending five guys to his house, and Jeremy and the guys were on their way right then. Um, what were they going there for? And do I want to know? And why do I feel like the answer is “No?”
Peter also said that this debt collector was “The last _____________ that’s coming in this place.” Yeah, so clearly he had a little bit of a problem with him showing up.
Chef Ramsay then tried to get Peter to calm down, and then he also asked his dad Yogi if he was okay after having fallen on the ground, to which he said in an interview that “They fight a lot” and “These things happen,” which has me concerned about how many debt collectors visited this restaurant in the past, and how many times Peter got into fights with them, and if this was not even the first time Yogi had been knocked to the ground as a result of what happened.
So, Chef Ramsay managed to get Peter to settle down, and I would like to remind everyone that this is all happening right before the relaunch is supposed to happen. I’m not even joking. Before the debt collector shows up, a disclaimer on the screen said that it was 5:30, and 30 minutes until the relaunch, and after Chef Ramsay had gotten Peter to calm down, another disclaimer said that it was 6:55, with five minutes until the start of the relaunch. Yeah, so clearly things got really bad if they had to push the relaunch back by a full hour.
After the relaunch had officially started, everything seemed to be going great. Customers were enjoying the food, and the kitchen was pushing food out at a great speed. But, there was one part of the restaurant that was not up to the same speed. Can you guess what it was? You guys are all so smart. Yes, it was Peter.
During the relaunch, Peter asked Tina if she could make him a Cranberry Juice Seltzer, then immediately changed his mind and asked if they had Pineapple Juice, and upon being told that they did, said that he wanted Pineapple Juice with Ice and a splash of Cranberry, because it’s “Good for his sugar.” Because as we all know, you take priority over paying customers. That’s just a known fact.
Peter also asked Tina, who I would like to remind you is his own sister, if she had a throat lozenge. You know, I don’t know if you guys know this, but there is a rule in all restaurants that says that if a staff member is busy with who knows how many customers, they should ignore all of them if one of the other staff members asks them for anything. Especially if it’s something as crucial as a throat lozenge. There you go. Now you know for when you open your own restaurant.
Eventually, the other staff members got fed up with Peter doing absolutely nothing, and told him to bring a table their Appetizers. And then Peter did one of the worst possible things he could have done in the entire episode. I’m not even joking. This guy has asked his own staff members to make him drinks and fought with debt collectors, and what I am about to say is easily not only the worst thing he did in the episode, but also one of the worst things I have ever seen anyone do in the entire series.
Peter picked up the Baked Clams that was meant for the table, and rather than serving them, he asked one of the staff members for a fork, and STARTED EATING THEM, and his reason for doing so was because he was hungry, and he also ate them in the kitchen because he didn’t want Chef Ramsay to see him eating, and he didn’t want to get yelled at. Wow. I mean, that is impressive. He actually knew that what he was doing was the absolute worst possible thing he could do, but he still went ahead and did it because he didn’t care, and tried to do it in a way that he couldn’t be caught by Chef Ramsay. Not only that, but he literally ate food that was meant for a customer. I literally cannot stress how much fun I am having writing this blog post.
Long story short, Chef Ramsay did catch him eating the Baked Clams, and kicked him out of the kitchen. He then sat down in the dining room and asked one of the staff members to make a Cappuccino. Because your desire for a Cappuccino should always take top priority among the dinner service that is currently happening in your restaurant.
When Peter then found out about the table that had been waiting 50 minutes for Baked Clams, he did the most logical thing imaginable: Take his anger about this out on his staff. Because they are the ones responsible for the food, and he obviously doesn’t need to do anything to help out.
After the relaunch, the narrator, oh yeah, did I mention that this show has a narrator? Because this show has a narrator.
Yeah, so after the relaunch, the narrator said that it was a success, in spite of Peter. Yeah, I guess he was so bad that someone who never even set foot in the restaurant knew that he was bad. Seemingly to hammer in this point, Chef Ramsay then said, and I quote: “This place was a success, and it’s now pissed through your hands.” Yeah, he has a lot of insults like that.
Chef Ramsay then proceeded to insult Peter in every way imaginable, much to the very visible delight of the Head Chef Robert. My personal favorite insult he threw at Peter at this time was when he said “You’re the only ________ in here right now that’s not pulling their weight, and that’s not _________ good enough.” I mean, what did the other staff members do to result in such an insult from Chef Ramsay?
After telling Peter that the restaurant would easily be more successful without him, we got a very sudden and rapid montage showing him actually putting effort into helping out, and then the episode ended.
But I bet you’re all wondering what happened next to this restaurant.
Well, when Chef Ramsay revisited it, Peter had replaced all the chefs in the kitchen. Because that’s the best thing to do exactly one year later.
Apparently the online reviews for the restaurant were just as bad after Chef Ramsay left.
Then, in December 2008, Peter’s closed its doors for good.
In its place now is a restaurant called Post Office. Because that’s certainly not a confusing name for a restaurant and people who are trying to mail a letter.
Wow, this was one of the most fun things I have ever written about! I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it, and I’ll see you all soon with another post!
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